Mourning – What does it mean and how to cope?

Grief is a profound emotional response to the loss of a loved one. As a result of losing someone with whom we shared close bonds, we experience not only pain but also many different, complex emotions. It is a natural process that – although full of suffering – is a part of life. As Piotr Krakowiak (2007) shows, grief is not only a psychological but also a physiological process in which our body and mind react to profound loss.

Stages of Grief

According to research by Wanda Badura-Madej (1999), grief has several characteristic stages that help an individual navigate the process of adapting to a new reality after the loss of a loved one:

1. Shock and Disbelief â€“ Initially, we experience a state of numbness. This is a natural defense mechanism that allows our mind to come to terms with the tragedy. During this time, as Irvin David Yalom writes in Staring at the Sun, death seems unreal, impossible.
2. Anger â€“ Often, feelings of disappointment, and even rage – towards oneself, others, or the world – emerge. This is a time when we might look for someone to blame for our loss.
3. Longing â€“ One of the most challenging stages is experiencing sorrow, yearning, and a sense of emptiness. Levine (2015) emphasizes that this is the moment when we truly understand the profound significance of the person we have lost.
4. Depression â€“ Many individuals experiencing grief encounter profound sadness that can lead to depressive symptoms. This is a time when painful emotions can feel overwhelming.
5. Acceptance â€“ Over time, a moment arrives when we begin to accept the loss and its irreversibility. This doesn’t mean forgetting, but rather finding a new place for the deceased person in our lives.

How to Cope with Grief

Grief is a process that requires time and space. To navigate it more effectively, consider these strategies:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions â€“ Wanda Badura-Madej (1999) points out that emotions related to grief should not be suppressed. Sadness, anger, rage – all these feelings are natural. Give yourself permission to express them.
2. Seek Support â€“ Piotr Krakowiak (2007) emphasizes the importance of support from loved ones, as well as professionals. Psychotherapy can aid in the process of grieving. It’s valuable not to face this alone.
3. Take Care of Yourself â€“ Although it can be challenging, try to maintain a routine, care for your body, eat healthily, and get enough sleep. Physical well-being is just as crucial as emotional well-being.
4. Lean on Literature â€“ Many books, such as “Who Dies? An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying” by Levine (2015), offer a deeper understanding of the dying process, which can be helpful in processing one’s own grief-related emotions.

When to Seek Psychotherapeutic Help?

In situations where grief begins to overwhelm, and emotions become difficult to bear, considering psychotherapeutic help is advisable. As Yalom indicates in Staring at the Sun, therapy can assist in accepting the inevitability of death and in constructing new meaning in life after loss. If you find yourself struggling to navigate daily life, it may be time to reach out to a specialist for support.